It struck me this morning while I was brushing my teeth.
I’d rather be the person I am, liking the stuff I like, loving the people I love, being loved by the people who love me, than anyone else, anywhere else in the world.
Sure, there are things I want to change. There always will be. That’s what makes life an adventure. But fundamentally, I couldn’t be happier.
That’s lucky. That’s better than lucky.
I once wished not to need you–
not to need your words or your hands or your help
or your approving glance.
I once wished that I might be enough
for myself all by myself.
The only dance worth dancing was the bold solo
with my head on no one’s shoulder
and I would win or be my own acclaim.
I once wished not to need you–
not to need your heartbeat next to my ear
or your steady breathing.
I once wished to be legendary:
mythical, winged, selfless.
The only role worth playing was the rescuer
who never needs a rescue
and I told myself I was very brave.
I once wished not to need you,
but in the same breath, I wished you to want me
more than anything else.
I wished that I might be enough
to keep your gaze forever.
Suddenly, the only dance worth dancing was slow,
with your hand around my waist.
Then, I knew that I’d never not need you
and I knew that I’d never not want to.
“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”
Theodore Roosevelt
“Citizenship in a Republic,”
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910
Hey hey!
Just blogging my 2011 book list progress. My goal was to read 12 books this year. I’m at 4… frightfully behind…so it’s time to pick up the pace.
Done:
1. Jane Eyre [by Charlotte Bronte] – A great read. I love Jane. Rochester is undoubtedly a creeper for most of the book, but I left the last page hopeful for their future together. I think he learned his lesson about keeping secret crazy wives locked up in towers.
2. The Four Loves [by C.S. Lewis] – Five stars. I should probably read it again, actually. Besides having deep insights into the nature of man and God, C.S. Lewis is ridiculously quotable. Win.
3. Tribes [by Seth Godin] – Find your people. Lead them. You’re not meant to be everything to everybody. A nice reminder and a pretty short read. I’d recommend it to writers and those of an entrepreneurial bent.
4. Love Wins [by Rob Bell] – I don’t even know about this one, guys. It didn’t make me angry. It also didn’t convince me of anything. I think he made some good points and God’s grace is certainly a lot bigger than anything we understand. I just don’t want to assume that our human understanding of “love” is the same as God’s. God has more grace, more justice, more wisdom, and he is the definition of love and holiness. If Rob Bell is right – with whatever it is he said – I won’t be complaining. I’m just not sold on it. It’s a book to be discussed with an open Bible, not blogged. Also, if you read it… realize that Bell’s a poet/storyteller. He likes word pictures and questions more than he likes distinct statements. Putting Rob Bell next to C.S. Lewis on the “Christian thought” shelf is like putting Meg Cabot next to Charles Dickens in literature. An imperfect comparison… but something like that.
I’m picking the next 8 books from this list:
The Federalist Papers
The Invisible Hand [by Adam Smith] – there’s no way I’ll make it through Wealth of Nations this year!
Manalive – [by G.K.Chesterton]
Soul Survivor [by Philip Yancey]
The War of Art [by Steven Pressfield]
Erasing Hell [by Francis Chan]
Is God to Blame? [by Greg Boyd]
The Artist’s Way [by Julia Cameron]
Start Something that Matters [by Blake Mycoskie]
The Experience Economy [by B. Joseph Pine II & James Gilmore]
A Highly Entertaining Novel of Some Sort [by unknown]
I apologize for the boring list-y post, but I need to keep myself motivated.
Any suggestions for a Highly Entertaining Novel?
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans. That the moment one definitely commits oneself then providence moves too.” -Goethe
Oh man. I have THE craziest class of 7-9 year old drama students. They have a ton of energy and it’s definitely a challenge. I have never seen a group of kids that have a harder time sitting in one place for more than 30 seconds at a time. But I think they’re learning a few things. (Here’s hoping, since the acting showcase is less than 2 weeks away).
During yesterday’s class, it was all I could do to save my laughter until the class was over. I was reminded again of how boys and girls are SO different. We play this game called “Story in a Circle.” I’m sure you’ve played some variation in your lifetime. As we go around the circle, each student adds a sentence to the story. The goal is to create a complete short story by building on what the person before you has said. Well… the concept of teamwork hasn’t quite taken hold with this class yet. It’s a clear case of boys vs. girls. They spend the whole time sabotaging each other’s stories.
The first round I made the mistake of having the 3 boys in the class sitting next to each other. The story went like this:
Boy 1: Once upon a time, a giant dinosaur attacked the people of the world.
Boy 2: An army of soldiers went to fight the giant dinosaur.
Boy 3: But the dinosaur ate them all, and then destroyed everyone and ate the entire earth!!!
Well, that didn’t work. The story is clearly over. I attempt to explain how we need to leave some characters alive so that we can continue the story. I rearrange the boys in the circle so they’re not all sitting next to each other. Our next round went something like this:
Boy 1: There was a dragon that attacked a castle.
Girl 1: And there was a PRINCESS!
Boy 2: The dragon ate the princess.
Girl 2: A Knight came to fight the dragon.
Boy 3: It CUT OFF THE DRAGON’S HEAD!!!
Girl 3: And the Princess came back to life!
Boys: (in unison) Nooooooo!
Girl 4: And they got married!!!
Boys: NOOOOO!
Girls: YESSSS!
Someday, perhaps they will learn that adventure and romance genres go well together. For now, every story the boys tell includes ninjas, monsters, dragons, and soldiers. 
Every story the girls tell revolves around someone beautiful, wearing something beautiful, and going to a ball. 
Is it trained into them by the culture? Well… maybe a little. But I think it’s mostly the way we’re born. I’m not trying to change it. Hopefully the boy learns to see that there are real monsters of evil and sin in the world. Hopefully, he’ll decide to fight on the side of righteousness. Hopefully the girl learns that beauty goes deeper than the dress and the ball. Hopefully, she learns that her perfect Prince really HAS rescued her from a dragon and resurrection is her promised inheritance.
Someday, I hope they’ll learn to see and love both sides of the story. Boys and girls, we need each other. And we need a great big, epic story.
And we have one.
As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus…” (Eph. 2:1-6)
I don’t have time in my life to read everything. This is a little bit sad, but the knowledge of the fact makes me want to choose my reading material wisely rather than give up the pursuit of words and stories and ideas.
Goal: 12 quality books this year. When I was a kid, 12 books a year would have been a laughably low figure. [psh... 12 books a month, you mean?] But, now that I have all these dreadful grown-up things to do, like work, laundry, pretending to cook, and updating twitter, 12 a year seems ambitious.
Thus far, in 2011, I’ve read:
Next on the list:Is God to Blame by Greg Boyd and Manalive by G.K. Chesterton.
I need suggestions for the rest of my year! As you can see, my taste runs toward classic novels, theology, and contemporary business genres, but I’m willing to try new things (provided it’s not in the vampire, anime, or steamy romance novel category… uh…no offense).
Tell me, friends, what books are truly worth my time?
“Words are terribly important. They demand stewardship and command responsibility. Do not neglect the reading and writing of them.” – Audrey Assad (via twitter)
I am slightly claustrophobic. I’m not extremely fond of hugging strangers. As a child, I despised people in masks and animal costumes. I hated them almost as much as mall Santa Clauses. And yesterday, I became one of the creatures I abhorred most of all: the Easter Bunny. Oh yes. The pagan symbol of fertility, dancing around scattering eggs (EGGS?), grinning with ominous buck teeth. Who LIKES this creature?
How I came into the role, I’m not really sure. I know it had something to do with letting my mom answer the phone at Greenleaf. THAT’S never happening again, let me tell you. Before I knew what I was committing to, I was committed. I tried to find someone else. I offered money. I pretended it was going to be super fun (Tom Sawyer style), hoping someone would take the bait. Nope.
On Saturday I met the nice lady at the subdivision park. She took me into her house, showed me the bathroom, and handed me a cardboard box. I went in, locked the door, and began the transformation. I put on the fuzzy body suit. It was obviously made for someone slightly more… er… filled out, with a very long torso and short legs. The crotch and purple puffy tail were dangling just above my kneecaps. I put on the shoe covers, the spotted vest, and then I pulled out the mask. I slowly slid the creepy bunny face over my own, inhaled the rubbery plastic scent, adjusted the face until I could peer into the mirror through the giant screen-eyes, and did my very best not to scream.
It was like a childhood nightmare… I had been swallowed by the Easter Bunny.
As I walked out into the hallway, I came face to face with the family’s bulletin board warning the children of all the dangers involved with talking to or taking things from strangers. Irony?
I had been instructed not to speak, just to wave, hug, skip, pose for pictures etc. Well, I’m far too clumsy to skip even in normal clothes, so I decided waving and hugging would have to do. I spent about 5 minutes trying to figure out a good way to breathe in the mask (did I mention I’m claustrophobic?), said a quick prayer for courage, and trotted down the hill to the park where the dear children (about 50 of them) and their parents waited. The hour went something like this:
I ran into the park, waving at kids, receiving stares of shock and awe from the little ones, and disdain from those “old enough to know better.” Patted several on the head, mostly the older ones.
Overheard two young boys plotting to pull off my mask. Chased them a little while. Sat down on the photo bench.
Had a nice “chat” with a young fellow named Mason who was probably 8 or 9. It went something like this:
Mason: I know you’re not real.
Me: *thumbs up sign*
Mason: You’re a girl, aren’t you.
Me: *nod + thumbs up sign*
Mason: Oh, come on. You can talk.
Me: *nodding “no” + drawing my paw across my throat in a slicing sort of action*
Mason: Says who?
Me: *vigorous pointing to the woman who gave me the bunny suit*
(Ok, so I’m a terrible Easter Bunny. Whatever. I cannot lie, even to kids… especially to kids, as a matter of fact)
I don’t remember the rest of the conversation, because we were interrupted by more families dragging, coaxing, or bribing their kids to my bench for Easter photos. But, from that point on, Mason snuck up behind me every 5-10 minutes and smacked me on the back of the ears. Awesome, bud. I thought we were gonna be friends because I told you the truth. Guess not.
I had a nicer conversation with a little girl named Carolyn that went something like this.
Me: *gesturing: come sit beside me, little child*
Little Carolyn: You’re soft.
Me: *pose* *high five* *hug*
Little Carolyn: You know what, I have blue eyes too!!!
Me: *nod* *thumbs up*
Little Carolyn: You know what? At my VBS there are giant animals too! There’s a big dog and a kangaroo!
Little Carolyn continued to talk about VBS while I posed for 8 more pictures with other kids. I’m not sure of everything she said, but I felt like I had made an ally in the world of man.
After about 40 minutes of hugging and posing for pictures (never quite sure if I was looking at the camera), my hair had begun to dangle across my face, dripping with sweat. It blocked half of my vision, was in my nose and mouth, and I could do nothing about it! Naturally, at this moment, the kind host mom came over and suggested that I walk around for a while and hand out stickers. I nodded. Not being able to see, I tripped over several short children. I don’t think any of them were terribly injured.
I spent the last 5 minutes of the hour dancing with a few 3 year olds to “If You’re Happy and You Know It.” I’m a pretty good dancer compared with 3 year olds. That made me feel better.
Final stats (estimated):
Hugs: 38
Photos: 65
High fives: 42
Babies held: 4
Children who cried: 4
Children who ran away screaming: 2
Teenagers who posed with me: 7
Dads who said “That’s a keeper” after taking photos: 3
Number of times I plan to be the Easter Bunny again: 0
I got a DQ blizzard out of the deal though. That was good. Thanks, mom.
Ok, ok…I realize it’s probably super annoying when someone who DOESN’T HAVE KIDS writes about parenting. Sorry. It’s gonna happen here. I do at least work with kids almost every day, and I can usually tell when parents are actually doing their job… or just leaving it up to people like me, the baseball coach, and the second grade teacher. It breaks my heart to see precious kids who are confused because they don’t know their boundaries. Kids NEED realistic, clearly communicated boundaries. It makes them feel safe. Kids NEED encouragement. They need to hear their parents speak well of them, not apologize for them or label them. Kids NEED discipline. The kind that gently says, “I love you too much to let you get away with that kind of behavior.” Kids need parents to tell them and SHOW them that they don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. Kids need parents who follow through.
There’s a free parenting magazine that gets sent to my studio. I picked it up this morning to read it for the first time.
The first article I read was something like ”How to get your son a Justin Bieber haircut at the salon without mentioning Justin Bieber.” Awwwww. How cute.
Then, I flipped to an article called “Sexy Too Soon?” This appeared to have potential. The article did a good job outlining the problem. But the solutions? Not so much. It contained questions like “How do I talk to my 11 and 9 year old about the sexually explicit lyrics they sing along with on the radio?” My answer: SHUT THE RADIO OFF, get them some good musical alternatives, and talk about why the lyrics are wrong. Magazine expert’s answer: “Start with an open-ended, positive question like ‘Why do you like this music?’ Then mention your objections. You can say, ‘I don’t like the way the singer talks about women.’” I anticipate that the average kid’s response would be something like, “Ooookay. Mom doesn’t like it. She doesn’t really like the fact that my room’s a mess either. Whatever.”
How about this dilemma? “My 10-year-old son feels pressure to ask girls on dates, but I know he’s not ready yet.” My answer: Bahahahaha… not ready yet? Not like for 10 more years! He doesn’t even clean out his hamster cage regularly and he still pulls his sister’s hair. Does he have a JOB? Does he have a CAR? Does he need more sexual tension in his life right now? NO. Say to him, “My son, let’s have a good laugh (privately) at the other unfortunate kids who don’t have anything else to do in life besides date. How ridiculous. Now go build something with your legos.” Magazine expert’s answer: “Ask your son why he feels that way and what he really wants to do, then let him know how you feel about dating at a young age. [...] Say, ‘It sounds like you feel you should do this, but it might not be the best choice for you. Your dad and I can help you decide.’” That’s good I suppose. Every kid wants to spend 2 hours at age 10 talking about whether he’s mature enough to date or not. Really?
But, I guess I should commend the magazine for trying. At least they’re addressing the issue of over-sexualization of children in our culture and encouraging parents to spend time with their kids doing positive things together. Like… belly dancing. In the next article titled “Love Handle Lockdown,” one mom relates her exercise experience in belly dance class. ”I was a little intimidated, but once I got the hang of it, it was such a blast! My twelve-year-old daughter joined me, and the two of us giggled as we shook our bottoms.” uhhhhhhhh. Apparently not the same mom who was concerned about her daughter’s midriff baring soccer team friends in the previous article.
Thanks for the entertainment and enlightenment, parenting magazine. Now I know why kids are so confused. Their parents are confused. And you’re not helping them with your psychobabblemushbrainloveydovey advice.
Dear parents, please BE PARENTS, not negotiators. Your kids will thank you.
