So… I went to Borders…

…ostensibly to work on an article, but instead I ended up wandering around the back of the store reading book titles and occasionally leafing through a few pages. I really like reading business books. I’m a nerd, I know… and I haven’t implemented a quarter of what I’ve read… but it’s a hobby. Today, however, I was again reminded that the world of commerce is kind of confusing, overwhelming…and amusing. :) So many contradictory messages. And so many books essentially saying the same thing with a different cover. Here are just a few of the titles I discovered while browsing:

• Nice Guys Get the Corner Office
• Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office (huh?)
• The Think Big Manifesto (which actually looked like a cool book… and had nothing to do with Wal-Mart)
• The Power of Less: The Fine Art of Limiting Yourself to the Essential…in Business and in Life
• Guerrilla Marketing (the series)
• Soft Sell
• The Logic of Life: Rational Economics of an Irrational World
• Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking
• The 4-Hour Workweek  (I’m ok with this…)
• Book Yourself Solid: The Fastest, Easiest, and Most Reliable System for Getting More Clients Than You Can Handle Even if You Hate Marketing and Selling
• Twitter Power: How to Dominate Your Market One Tweet at a Time
• Face Time: The Power of Person to Person Marketing
• Fire Your Boss
• 45 Things You Do that Drive Your Boss Crazy–And How to Avoid Them  (I already know these things)
• How to Better Hate Your Job
• Thank God It’s Monday!: How to Create a Workplace You and Your Customers Love  (Yay… Monday!)

I didn’t buy any of them.  I have a stack of 23 books in my room to read over the summer.  I think I’ll start with a novel. :)

what love is…

This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother’s were righteous. Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him.

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.
1 John 3:11-24

Things I thought…

…but didn’t say. Insert your own context as you wish…just know that each one is different. :)
……………………………………
“you are beautiful.”
“you are strong.”
“you are hilarious.”
“you are so talented.”
“you made my whole afternoon/day/week/life better just by being you.”
“you are valuable.”
“you are brave.”
“you’re cool. can we be friends?”
“i think i love you and it scares me.”
“i’m lonely.”
“i need to be alone right now”
“please ask me. please?”
“PLEASE! for heaven’s sake don’t ask!”
“it’s not you. it’s me.”
“it’s not me. it’s you.”
“if you try to get that close, i will inevitably hurt you. when it happens, please don’t take it personally.”
“i really do care about you.”
“i hate what happened to you.”
“i will listen if you will talk.”
“i’m afraid.”
“i’m insecure right now.”
“i am weak.”
“i need help.”
“can i help?”
“what happened? was it something i did/said?”
“i’m sorry. i was wrong.”
“can we just start over?”
………………………………..
Sometimes it’s just hard to say what you need to say. ha. ugh. (I hate accidentally quoting things). :)

Appropriate self expression is next to impossible. Sometimes I don’t even know what I mean or how I feel about things! Does anyone else identify with that frustration?

It makes me all the more grateful for the One who understands my heart even when I do not and forgives my clumsy attempts at expression or concealment.

free verse

the daffodils somehow survived seven inches of snow.
yesterday they peeked through.
this morning, they swayed “hello” when i
ran out of the house at ten past nine
there were more of them
when I came home tonight
at nine past ten.

does anyone think it strange that i
walk everywhere now with my arms open wide
inviting the zephyr to steal
my cardigan sweater
so the warm sun can touch my winter skin better?
or that i stand,
oblivious,
with my face to the sky
and my eyes shut in exhausted reverence?

spring is like hope
and hope springs eternal, they say.
and a little hope is all i really needed today.

DQ

I went to the funeral of an old friend today. A much too young friend, actually.

I did not know Devin in recent years. Honestly, the last time I talked with him was at his high school graduation in 2006. I think I said something appropriate and polite like “Congratulations” and “It’s been a long time… so good to see you.” I think he said something that made me laugh. Not unusual. :)

I met Devin when he was a month shy of his twelfth birthday. It was the very first year we did Backyard Bible Clubs at Greenleaf. I was 14 and I remember being initially frustrated that Devin and my brother (also 11) were allowed to participate. They’re just kids, right? How could they be involved in children’s ministry? How ridiculous… we’re going to have to babysit them all week long. Over the course of that week, my perspective changed. By the second day, Devin had gained the respect…and laughter…of everyone in the group. He had unbelievable wit. I’ve never met another kid who was so fast on his feet. My favorite story from that week was a moment when Devin was pretending to cram an entire piece of chocolate cake into his mouth and Christy snapped a picture of it. “We’re going to show that to your fiancee someday before she walks down the aisle. We’ll ask her, ‘do you really want to marry this guy?’” Without missing a beat, Devin replied, “What if I marry you?”

But Devin also had a spiritual maturity even at such a young age. I remember standing outside a house with him, praying for the kids inside before we went to the door to invite them to the club.

Several years later, Devin reached out to a young boy in my neighborhood. Eli was extremely withdrawn. His parents were divorcing and his life was very unstable. He wouldn’t come to the Bible club at first and when he did he wouldn’t talk to anyone… except Devin. Eli thought he was the coolest guy on earth.

I’m sure everyone who knew Devin at all has stories like these and many more. I heard some of them today at his funeral… and it made me glad that I knew Devin, even if it was only a little and for a little while.

Devin knew pain and heartache as well as laughter. Devin also knew Jesus and that gave him strength. Stephanie quoted him today, so beautifully, saying, “trust in God, and keep breathing.”

I cried when I heard about Devin’s death and I cried today. Not for him (I know he’s celebrating with all of heaven right now), but for his family and his beautiful girlfriend and everyone who loved him. Devin, you are and will be so missed.

I thought about all the friends who have walked in and out of my life. Every human being who crosses our paths changes us in some way…adds richness to our lives. Some add laughter and some make us think. Some hold us close and show us what love means. Some inspire us and some teach us and some point us to God.

I think of the famous quote from “Our Town” when Emily says, “Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?—every, every minute?”

Do any of us human beings realize other human beings while we live with them? Do we understand the gift we have been given every time we meet someone else bearing the image of God? Every handshake, hug, word, tear, laugh… means so much more than we know.

“Our Town” was never my favorite play, structurally… but the words…wow.

“We all know that something is eternal. And it ain’t houses and it ain’t names, and it ain’t earth, and it ain’t even the stars . . . everybody knows in their bones that something is eternal, and that something has to do with human beings. All the greatest people ever lived have been telling us that for five thousand years and yet you’d be surprised how people are always losing hold of it. There’s something way down deep that’s eternal about every human being.”

Devin knew this. I’m starting to learn it.

It makes me want to call up old friends and hug my family a little tighter. I want to laugh a little louder and longer. And I want to love people much, much better.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”

God with us.

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor,
Mighty God,
Everlasting Father,
Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end.
He will reign on David’s throne
and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
with justice and righteousness
from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the LORD Almighty
will accomplish this.
-Isaiah 9:6-7

For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength. - 1 Cor. 1:25

…the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.
-Isaiah 61:1-3

He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds. -Psalm 147:3

you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins. -Matthew 1:21

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.” - Luke 2:13-14

…This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel. - 2 Timothy 1:9b-10

“Kýrie, eléison; Christé, eléison; Kýrie, eléison.”

You have. You do. You will.
Thank You.

The season is upon us once again

Oh, it’s December now and you’ll see them everywhere…
young men and women propping their eyelids open with their fingers,
one earbud dangling
and one jammed securely in the appropriate cranial cavity.
They droop over stacks of books and jumbled notes.
They stare bleary-eyed into glowing computer screens
at all hours of the day and night.
They pray hasty prayers of repentance for time wasted
and beg silently for mercy in the eleventh hour.
Some wander the halls restlessly, clutching Red Bull cans
or Starbucks cups as life preservers.
Some sip overpriced chai lattes and try to remember summer
or imagine heaven…
for just a moment…
before their eyes cross and they start to nod into the pages.

Finals are here. Joy to the world. :)

Come, ye thankful people come…

I LOVE Thanksgiving.  It’s definitely one of my favorite holidays.  It’s low stress, a break from classes, a time to hang out with the family…and there is a ton of good food!  It escapes the consumerist overtones connected with Christmas (as much as I love Christmas, it’s the truth), it doesn’t have the emotional stresses associated with Valentine’s Day (I’m not emotional, of course… but other people are), nobody has to dress up, and the entire focus is on thanking God for His blessings.

Wow!  What an awesome, spectacular day.  Good job, pilgrims and President Lincoln. :)

I have a million and one things to be thankful for.  A lot of them are listed below in my November 10th note.

Ah… but I want to add one.  This week, I’m particularly grateful for the chance to experience a little more sleep than usual.  Mmmm…

“Sleep that knits up the ravelled sleave of care,
The death of each day’s life, sore labor’s bath,
Balm of hurt minds, great nature’s second course,
Chief nourisher in life’s feast” -Macbeth

Poor Macbeth didn’t get any sleep of course, but I have a relatively clear conscience.  *blissful sigh*

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So this week, I witnessed a drug deal and changed a tire… for the first time(s) in my life.  Yes, I guess I’m sheltered.  I’m pretty proud of myself for learning how to change a tire.  ha.  I know everyone is rolling their eyes now. Oh, well. ______________________________________________________________

Lately, I have been considering the concept of residual income… so that I can go to Egypt or the South Pole, or adopt 10 kids or whatever I want to without having to have a real job.  Any ideas?  :) Something creative, preferably.
______________________________________________________________

Ok… now I have to get back to the 4 papers I need to write over break.

_______________________________________________________________________

“Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.  Praise Him, all creatures here below.  Praise Him above, ye heavenly hosts.  Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.  Amen.”

pax vobiscum

just wondering…

Why is it an insult to call a woman a whore or a slut and a compliment to call a man a stud?

Words.  Just words.  Words that have definitions.  :)

mmm…. life

I ate today.

I slept in a bed last night and I will again tonight.

It may be cold and drizzly, but I have a warm clothes and I got to spend most of my day in buildings where the temperature was lovely.

I saw many people I like today and they seem to like me back.   I got to talk to some of them which was fantastic.

I was hugged today.

I heard music and laughter today.

My car might break tomorrow, but it got me where I needed to go all day long.

Gas is $1.88!

I can walk, talk, hear, see, think, laugh, feel.

I can READ!

Jesus was with me all day today.

I could die right this minute and keep on living because of Him.

I live in a country where no one can try to stop me from praising Him or learning more about Him.

I have an amazing family.

A lot of my mistakes are humorous.

I GET to go to school 5 days a week and spend time learning new things.

I get to graduate from college this spring and I turned in all the papers today!

Cinnamon hazelnut coffee smells good.

I’m wearing striped socks.

I discovered wordle today (thanks, Peter V.) and it was sweet.  Here are the most commonly used words in my blog

This post may be boring to you, but I just really needed to remind myself of a few things today.  It’s good.  Life is so, SO good.